Lost In Script

As a child I loved watching Lost in Space, especially
the first episodes which had actual value as science fiction,
before the series became more of a cartoon.
I was hoping this movie would be more like the old shows than
the later ones. I was disappointed.

That's not to say there aren't any redeeming qualities about
this latest Robinson adventure. The plot was decent, and I
can only imagine how much better the story would have been
if they hadn't dragged the story down with subplots surrounding
Professor John Robinson (William Hurt) neglecting his family;
Penny (Lacey Chabert) wearing more makeup than Tammy Faye and
brainiac Will (Noah Wylie) being a trouble maker to get his
father's attention. There were other aspects of the plot which
could have been far more developed, and were far more worthwhile.

Better background of the most popular (and most despised) member
of the crew, Dr. Zachary Smith (Gary Oldman) would have been much
more useful than seeing Penny whine about leaving her friends
or Will turn his teacher into a virtual ape. More information
about the terrorist group attempting to destroy the Robinson
family would have been nice.

Once the movie gets off the ground (well, the spaceship gets off
the ground, the movie crashes) the characters become hollow.
Yes, there are a few good scenes, but when Mrs Robinson (Mimi Rogers)
complains that John and Major West (Matt LeBlanc) are having a
'pissing contest' and covering the deck with testosterone, I
abandoned the film. I just can't see June Lockhart, the original
Mrs. R (who has a cameo in the film), doing that. That was the
last straw - the film had completely separated from the original
Lost and was now just another sci-fi movie.
Unfortunately, it is unable to find an identity of its own,
and meanders aimlessly through scene after scene. The saddest
part is that the two most interesting characters were not even
real, but computer generated. 'Blarb' is a cute (if annoying)
creature which Penny takes as a pet. And the antithesis of
Blarb, the evil Dr Smith/Spider King was a technical wonder (though
less than original - his unveiling brought to mind a scene from
Men in Black ).

Sadly, the ending seems ready-made for a sequel and with all the
money this movie will make, there will be one. Perhaps the
writers will take the time to develop better plots and characters
the second time around.

My rating: a disappointing 6

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